Pokemon Topaz: Part 20
Hey, look! This LP isn’t a teenager anymore! If you think I’m suddenly going to start being mature, though, you’re kidding yourself. :P
Also, I love how I made this whole big disclaimer about how I wasn’t gonna be updating, and then started updating like mad…
…ONWARDS! >_>
You may have seen me completely ignore buildings like these in previous updates.
This is because sixteens were required to traverse them! :D
It seems the sixteens do not help my gender identification problems… =/
DAMN YOU BISEXUAL AUTOMOBILES!!!
…Wait, he’s named Jaclyn?!
Yep, trotting out the AIDS puddle, because as several people mentioned, my party is way too physical-focused and I need more type diversity.
And it’s possible that this thing won’t always be totally useless.
Maybe.
They should really make different animations depending on which type that is…
See? He can do more than gently bathe his opponents in water! He can make rocks appear several inches away from them. :D
Wait. Stop. What? Um… No. Suezo is a Psychic type… o_o
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! :D
I spy backtracking in my future… >.<
Yeeeeeesss…?
Pfft, that’s only a fifteen. XD
You will be seeing a lot of these stupid bee things. A lot. I’m not uploading like 15 boring-ass screencaps so…
I kept hitting with things and missing screencapping the effects, it kept trying to confuse me but missing…
So I got fed up and dropped boulders on its head. ^_^
She shouldn’t have left her doors unlocked. :3
It beats me why anyone would possibly want to park up here with no way to get anywhere but right here on this road, but what the hell.
Um… How… Why… What?!
Oh I see. The sunglasses are eating into his brain. o.o
This time I try dropping rocks from square one!
It… doesn’t work all that well. ._.;
So I try gently wetting it from a distance! :D
IT DOESN’T WORK ALL THAT WELL. T_T
Several turns later I get a Quick Attack in edgewise and am subjected to more bad car puns for my troubles. ;_;
You have somehow fused on the molecular level into the front end of my sixteen. So… yes…?
You know, I’m actually gonna skip over this battle. Same model as the last guy, had two bee things instead of one, both of which were annoying to kill and not interest–
Hmmm? You know it’s rude to interrupt when other people are speaking, even when you have the AIDS. =/
Fine fine, what did you want…
…Nothing? Wow. Just… Get back in your ball. D:
God, more bees? Seriously? Fuck this shit.
*Rolls Intimidate*
Natural 20! :D
SEE? ROLEPLAYING IS USEFUL SOMETIMES!
Simon would’ve fucking eaten you all, I swear to god. <_<
I think I see a “Go, baby, go!” button… :D!
*pushes i–*
SIXTEENS GO FAAAAAST! >:D
Take off those sunglasses dammit, I can see grey ooze! D:
I have no idea where this thing came from, why he has it, or why it’s level 7. He also had another. Also level 7.
This critted and oneshotted it, making me very happy indeed. ^_^
Whoa! Some other expletive! :D
Did you seriously just threaten someone high in the ranks of a criminal organization with violence?
That’s just silly. :<
…And wasn’t… your hair blonde a second ago? o_O
Well, unless you guys really want to see eight screenshots of Flubber gently cleansing a series of bees, we’re gonna skip th–
What the hell is your problem?! BACK IN THE BALL! D:
In Topaz, even the signs insult you! ;_;
Anyway, this is all that’s on the Freeway. Lots of bees and a handful of signs. This time, we go right from Skystare!
Talk about oxymoronic names. o_O
HIPPIES!!!!! D:<
We’re not even going to discuss that sprite.
We’re just not.
Ever.
I also do not want to contemplate what possible use a hippie could have for a Shitleaf… >_<
It Stun Spored me, but bit the dust pretty quickly after that, which is a good thing, because…
OH GOD HE HAS A FROG WITH EARS. >_<
Because, while I got incredibly lucky and not only got a Quick Attack past the paralysis but also critted…
…It did this.
Flubber has a double weakness to Grass. >_<;
Luckily, everything is weak to awesome. :D
After this, I went back to get heals, and realized that I completely forgot to do what I said I’d do…
Replacing Tackle!
Replacing Bubble!
Replacing common sense? o.o
Dude, you look like a cross between Yugi Moto and Tweety. The only way you’re gonna be famous is if you pretend to be gay and cry about Britney Spears on national television. =/
MORE FUCKING BEES?! D:
This bee fight went as usual.
And he had one of these. Which is a… Thing? Yes. A Thing.
Then another bee…
Which caused a whole lot of WTFing.
Seriously! What in Jesus’s pantyhose?! It’s a goddamn bee made of electricity! WHAT IS IT DOING UNDERWATER?! >_<;
So, as always when confronted with the unknown, Lt. Satans perforates its skull. :D
YAY! MORE PIRATES! >:D
They all have such silly names… o.O
And even sillier Pokemon. Seriously, what the hell is this thing? It’s like Sonic the Hedgehog crossbred with a shark and a lobster in some kind of mad cetacean orgy. o_o
OH CRAP IT HAS CHAOS EMERALDS! D:
Chaos Emeralds are no match for AIDS that break Mach 1! :D
Is that a spanish doubloon? o.o
Believe it or not, that’s all that was out this way. This time… LEFT! :D
If you’re wondering why I’m not going up it’s mostly because there’s a ledge and I’d have to go down, then up through Long Boring Cave of Boringness again. <_<
I’m beginning to seriously suspect that all these houses are playing Hide and Seek, and there’s some lone roving mobile home that’s ‘it’. It probably got lost somewhere back in Sinnoh. ._.
GAH!
Well, there’s no way I’m polluting Flubber with whatever hallucinogenic crap these things are made of. GREAT BALL GO! :D
o_o
Seriously. One great ball, full HP. WTF.
It shall live in the PC forever, scarred by the stigma of society.
Also, ear frogs aren’t cool enough to evolve, apparently.
Huh, some guy with a car. In a labyrinth. Made of trees. =/
WOAH!!!
I AM MORE CONCERNED WITH INTANGIBLE TREES THAN MY SLIGHTLY BRUISED POSTERIOR THANK YOU VERY MUCH! D:
But you’re in a tree. o_o
YOU’RE IN A TREE! D:
A TREE’S IN THAT TOO! BURY IT UNDER ROCKS! D:
The rocks just disappeared inside a black hole circling around the tree. o_o
After I removed the dirt from behind its ears, however, it did me the courtesy of dying, as thanks.
I give up. Just sit in your tree and don’t bother me. T_T
Stinky rock. :o
Um. Yes I can. I can beat it with fists and with angry trees. o.o
This isn’t a Shounen, guys. Being friends really really hard doesn’t actually make you any better at children’s card games. o.o
So, guys, this is a dual battle! We should strategerize and things! Like… um… Flubber! Hit em first!
Good job! :D
Now, Newton, you should–
Erm, well… That works, I guess?
…Wait, what?
Seriously?
SERIOUSLY?! D:
Went back to, um, Townname Town for heals, then promptly got lost again. ._.
Oh! Look! One constant of kleptomania in this horrible maze of green things and shounen characters!
(Yes, I see the car still in the tree. I am pretending it doesn’t exist. ._.)
Let us pillage the—
HO. LEE. CRAP.
I kind of froze up, seeing one of these awesome things out of the blue, and just tossed a great ball.
And it caught it.
First try. o_o
“…vanish completely.”
‘Cause negros are dark, yo.
I’m actually doing something unprecedented here and just letting it keep its name, since nothing I come up with will be better than Negrosect.
Unfortunately, Negrosect has no evolved form, since there is nothing more awesome tha—
WILL YOU STOP BOTHERING ME IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY! :<
Yo! I’m not! :D
…
I…
…
*backs away slowly*
Um. Hitting them periodically with sticks and threatening them with eternity in a computer next to a digitized shitleaf seems to work pretty damn well too.
She was angered at me telling her that her life of love could have been substituted with a few paltry threats, but she is inexperienced at rage. It was like an angry butterfly smashing its wings furiously at the window pane. Amusing, yet ultimately ineffective.
Flying fish are most definitely vulnerable to rocks from above.
Shitleafs normally just ooze out, so I had to apply spray paint as well. :P
The next dude, also being a grass type, required an alternate strategy. Remember: Everything is weak to awesome. :P
“True soldiers learn to improvise, sah!”
Sigh, status effects. Sigh. :(
Yep. A water type using a move that makes fire moves weak, against a water type. Pokemon AI is special.
I fed him a soda pop somewhere between there. It said something on the can about it causing cancer in pokemon, but Flubber kind of already has every disease known to man, so what the hell? Cancer could only be an improvement. It might even give him little tumory limbs. :)
Or just hit them with sticks until they grow attack tumors. :D
Awh. I was kind of hoping I could slice you. I could really do with a cathartic slice or four right now. :(
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Because you are trying to drive it on top of me. >_<
Were you not just male? And blond? And in a red car? O_O
I really don’t know whether to like this thing or not. o.o
o.o
o_o
O_O
BURY IT UNDER ROCKS!!!!
Good jo–
AUGH!!!
Except… This is what really happened. :P
And that was actually not save state antics, but an offscreen switch and a Max Revive. :D
YES. YES YOU WERE. YOUR TIRES WERE IN THE WAY OF MY LUNGS! D:<
Much walking later…
Would you… like a cookie? o.o
I am sorry the hippies stole my cookies please don’t eat me ._.;
Wow. Fuck this shit. o_o
DIE!!!! D:
Hell yeah! :D
Right at this point I am just really damn tired so he had this thing.
And he had this thing.
And he said this thing.
In case anyone was wondering why I kept holding back on the evolution? It was that.
SEE?! ATTACK TUMORS! KNOBBLY LITTLE LIMBS! >:D
And, thanks to a simple application of a rare candy…
This is Aurora Beam and not Ice Beam, by the way.
And I’m actually just gonna stop here. I’m not actually pussying out because I’m tired, I ended the screenshots here a good four or so hours ago.
Next time: We pick up exactly where we left off and go the rest of the way to Snapdragon Village, where one of the pussy bitches lives, possibly do some backtracking, and go on a catching spree, as I just realized there’s now a few areas that I haven’t yet combed exhaustively for new abominations!
The Meridian Vase 